How do I love?

14 Jun

How do I love?

I could say I have loved 20 times in 20 years, but I could not know how many times I lied now :p ?

Or  I didn’t lie at all?

Well if it is all about butterflies in the stomach than I could double this number on 40 or 60 or…stop me!

How many times have I felt butterflies in my stomach, there are not that many butterflies in the world.

So im pretty much sure that is not the indication that I have loved

What about, catching myself of wandering and thinking about him?

How many nights have I spend on thinking of him and smiling for no reason….ahh such a beautiful waste of time! Nope that’s not it as well. I have spent nights and nights thinking  and dreaming  of him. Ohh his blue eyes, blonde hair, bad boy attitude, the world hates him and he is a raper! Hint 🙂

So no, thinking and dreaming doesn’t count, and sleepless night doesn’t count as well. I have had sleeps night watching “Sex and the City” from first to last season in a week! Yup in ONE week J So what if I spent a sleepless night or two over him! Frankly I don’t even remember now, why!?

Okay  so this helped me to narrow the list on 5 lucky ones! Hah! So what is that, that got me thinking what is real love and why I feel sooo different this time?

So what is that one thing that gets me out of my skin? What is the thing that gets my train out of its railroad? What is the thing that makes my heart beats  louder, faster and it makes it rhyme with his name? What makes me an owl to make me enjoy the sleepless night?

How do I love?

I love in a way that even when I cry, it warms my heart. I feel , see and smell his love around me. It is so intense that for the first time in my life I can touch it and taste it, and by that I mean literally! Its like when I lay with him I feel like an invisible womb has covered me and it is immediately warm, colorful and tastes like burned sugar! It is like our heartbeat synced and its is peaceful! That’s how I love, selfishly, conditionally, wondering and suspiciously. I’m not perfect, nobody is! But I don’t wanna escape from it,no! This time, I am not letting my fears stop me from what feel so flawless. I am chasing my demons and I will tie them down. This kind a love is like a Comet, you might never get the chance to see it twice in a lifetime.

Because it is not everything in the ways you love, it is everything on how you SEE love and how you project love! There is no right or wrong way to love, there is just ONE way and that’s LOVE!


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